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Rants

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The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
Music and Lyrics

The music industry could stand to learn a thing or two from Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore.
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The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
Label This

The industry is so quick to label artists based on who they appear to be. Good luck labeling this act, music biz.

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The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
Ass-Whole Foods

The T.F.S.P. call New York City sweet and simple, and refer to Whole Foods as an over-abundant, wasteful, suburban nightmare.
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The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
Whole Farce

Whole Foods has finally become too big for its britches, but where else can I get my fat free, wheat free, egg free, dairy free Ginger Snap cookies?

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Blonde Acid Cult
Iraq vs. A-rack

Why does Anna Nicole Smith get more media coverage than the war in Iraq? Because Iraq doesn't have giant tits.
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Blonde Acid Cult
My Super Sucky MTV

MTV not playing music is like Bob's Giant Black Cock Emporium not selling giant black cocks.

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Blonde Acid Cult
Fake Brit, Real Beatdown

Use a fake British accent around Phil and be prepared for a very real ass-kicking.
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Blonde Acid Cult
This Shitty Concert Brought To You By Myspace

Apparently, Myspace is good for something other than soliciting teenage girls for sex and befriending Dane Cook - ruining live music.

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Marwood
Eat It, Music Biz

The music business was set up to sell millions of records, and Benji loves that they're not doing it anymore. And we love the way he says "re-coards."
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Marwood
No Judgment

If a musician wants be a sellout, pussy-ass, butt-puppet to a bunch of cocksucker record execs, he can get signed and that's his choice. Marwood's chosen not to.