Blonde Acid Cult
Blonde Acid Cult: Loads of Vices (00:47)
Show me an amputee midget in a wheelchair and I'll show you one happy British drummer.
It seems pretty gay to pick a dude as your dream porno co-star, but when you cite his giant penis as the reason, that's Liberace gay.
Blonde Acid Cult: Shake It Loose (00:31)
Shake it loose like a baggy asshole. Wait, what?
How are you supposed to bang the fans if your girlfriend comes to all of your concerts?
Blonde Acid Cult: Wankers Unite! (00:40)
Fat chicks, skinny chicks, even cars. You can masturbate to anything if you put your mind to it.
MTV not playing music is like Bob's Giant Black Cock Emporium not selling giant black cocks.
Blonde Acid Cult: Super Hiros (00:54)
If Blonde Acid Cult could freeze time, they'd do use their power only for heroic means. And by "heroic means" we mean feeling girls up and stealing a bunch of shit.
Blonde Acid Cult: This Shitty Concert Brought To You By Myspace (1:29)
Apparently, Myspace is good for something other than soliciting teenage girls for sex and befriending Dane Cook - ruining live music.
Blonde Acid Cult: Buy Our Shit (00:39)
Buy a Blonde Acid Cult t-shirt now, so later you can brag to your friends "I listened to them before they got big," and your friends can mutter "elitist asshole" under their breath.
Blonde Acid Cult: Yellow Taxi (00:49)
When you're 11 years old and writing tunes about girls getting raped in taxis, you're probably destined to become either a serial killer, or a musician. Michael's still unsure of his career path.
Damian didn't try being part of the "in-crowd" in high school. Maybe that's why he doesn't currently work at Duane Reade.
Blonde Acid Cult: The Lohan Porno We DON'T Wanna See (00:32)
What's hotter than a Lindsay Lohan-Larry King bukkake film? Pretty much anything else you can think of.
Religious Rule #378 - Never refer to Jesus as "That bloke with the thorns on his head." He prefers "The guy on the giant plus sign."
Blonde Acid Cult: Dick-straction (00:31)
Many a fine songwriter has been felled by the awesome, attention stealing power of pornos.
When someone asks Sting what song he wishes he'd written, I bet he replies "Roxanne. Oh no wait, I did write that one." Then he laughs and goes off to count his money.
