Seriously, did you think Joan Jett wouldn't take care of the artists she signs to her label, Blackheart records? (00:19)

By watching this clip, you relinquish all rights to complain that "I don't know of any kick-ass local bands" the next time you're in San Antonio. (00:18)

At least when you're dating a hater, they can't emotionally yell "oh yeah, well I always hated your music!" when you break up. (00:24)

If you thought sippin' on a Lone Star beer while enjoying a puffy taco were things that only happened in a trailer park, think again. (00:33)

You know you've made a friend for life when you make someone shoot cola out of their nose in front of a packed cafeteria. (00:51)

Here's a little known fact - "indie" is actually short for independent, which means I don't need any fucking help. (00:18)

Joan Jett sounds like the best boss ever. Joan, if you're watching this, I'm a pretty skilled handclapper/whistler. (00:29)

Bad day? Too bad mamacita. Suck it up and put on a happy face! The fans are depending on you. (00:15)

Get that major label deal out of their faces! These girls are all about being in control of their own shit. (00:28)

Girl in a Coma wants to remind you to enjoy music with your ears, and not your eyes. Unless you're deaf. Then by all means, continue to use your eyes. (00:32)