If Walmart were around in the 1500's, you can bet your sweet ass that Michelangelo's David would have been sporting some stone tighty whities.

(00:45)

The Hotel Cafe Tour - where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. Oh and also - no douchebags. (00:56)

Like vampires, werewolves, and cheesy Steven Segal movies on Cinemax, Cary does his best work after midnight.

(00:23)

If you're going to pilfer a man's art, the least you could do is stop by one of his concerts and say hi. (And maybe buy a physical copy of the cd, just sayin')

(00:45)

No one's saying you need to go green cold turkey - take a lesson from Cary and start small, like renting a biodiesel bus, and not throwing shit out its window.

(00:48)

Cary's Patrick-Bateman-esque love of Phil Collins worries us. First it's Separate Lives; could Sussudio possibly be next???? (00:27)

Whoever said "If it ain't broke don't fix it" was either an optimist, or really, really cheap and in denial. (00:34)

Cary's unabashed adoration for fellow SXSWers REM makes us both happy and totally sad (because we couldn't sneak in to the friggin' REM show the night before). (00:53)

Cary never believed in karma until he witnessed it firsthand on The Hotel Cafe Tour, kinda like how I never believed that Canada existed until I crossed the border.

(00:35)

About 12 years ago, or approximately the day after Limp Bizkit debuted, "Fred Durst" became the official stock answer for "Who's ass would you like to kick in the music industry?" (00:17)