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Pattern Is Movement

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Pattern Is Movement
Math Rock

I wanna rock (and find the co-sine of -6)!

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Pattern Is Movement
I Smell A Sequel To Footloose

No rated-R movies? No dancing??? Get Kevin Bacon on the line!


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Pattern Is Movement
Jesus, You Might Wanna Switch Parties...

Isn't religion wonderful? It allows even the most incompetent of people to become leaders of the free world.
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Pattern Is Movement
Giving Falwell a Haggard Beatdown

I know it's against the law to fuck a corpse, but how about fighting one? What if he was REALLY asking for it?

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Pattern Is Movement
Art Thou Porn?

Chris ponders the age old question: Is porn art? Here's a better one: Can I get a grant to practice it?
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Pattern Is Movement
Vice Cream

Nobody better get between Andrew and his Rocky Road. NOBODY.

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Pattern Is Movement
Either You're Lying, or God Hates Us All

Wouldn't it be funny if Bush really did receive a message from heaven telling him to become President, but it was just God's drunk friends pulling a prank while He was in the can?

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Pattern Is Movement
The Drums, They Are Deceiving

"How do those drums sound to you?" "Like shit!" "Great!"

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Pattern Is Movement
You Down With PZC? Yeah, You Know Me

Chris has a message for the Philadelphia Zoning Commission: thank you for being such strict, unwavering assholes.

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Pattern Is Movement
Life Before the Web

What did people do before the internet was around? I don't know, there was nothing on Wikipedia about that.